Friday, November 11, 2016
It's been a while, friends. I'm sorry.
It's been a rough couple of days, my friends. And I'm feeling it.
I was trying to avoid following the election up until the very end, but news about polls and debates and rallies just wouldn't leave me alone. So I've been kind of stressed out. Early Tuesday morning, I voted. I was scared, but optimistic. I knew the race would be a close one but I was sure....SO SURE...that Clinton would prevail in the end.
It wasn't until 10 pm Tuesday night that I really looked at the numbers. And then I started crying. It's Republican across the board. We're going to have a president that hates women, people of color, LGBT+ folks, the disabled, the mentally ill, and immigrants. We're going to have a vice president who thinks it's a-okay (even encouraged) to electrocute gay teens into being straight. We're going to have a republican house and senate who will let Trump do whatever he damn well pleases - ban birth control, overturn Roe vs Wade, outlaw Muslims, eliminate a living minimum wage, and probably try to put women back in the kitchen....
It's a disaster. I'm scared and upset. But for as much fear as I have of a Trump administration, right now I fear his followers and supporters most. Because these people are now validated in being open about their hatred of other people - black girls are being harrassed on public transit, anyone visibly queer is being spit on or beaten up, Muslim families are afraid to let their daughters leave the house wearing the hijab.
How could more than half of my country have this much hate and prejudice in them? How could this much of my nation be so horribly ignorant, xenophobic, and awful? I'm so disappointed in my own damn people right now....and I feel so ashamed and helpless. Because I voted. I voted for Clinton. I was by no means a fan of her, but Trump couldn't win....
And here we are.
I know it's not the end of the world. I know we're all gonna have to rise up and fight this shit. I know that. But for right now, I'm still in shock. Right now I'm grieving for the nation that I believed would do the right thing. Right now I'm angry and sad and scared.