Sunday, June 21, 2015

When your father has defected....

Those of us without fathers on this Father's Day occasion are often forced to reflect on the whereabouts of our absent parental figure - usually because a typical individual will assume that everyone has a loving and doting dad to celebrate, often when that is furthest from the case.

I don't have a dad.

I suppose I did once, there was certainly a male that contributed to my creation those 27 years ago, but I don't have a dad now. I grew up in a single parent household and looking back, I'm not sure I would have wanted it any other way. It was hard for Mom to make ends meet majority of the time, but she did the best she could for us to make sure we never went hungry and always knew that we were loved.

If, for some highly improbable reason, our dad had stuck around we would have been subjected to a substantial amount of his drinking, drugs, and overall absenteeism. I have never heard even one good story about him, from anyone really, so I truly believe I am better off not knowing him at all.

As for other father figures in my life - a few guys have tried but they all seemed to fail pretty spectacularly. We lived with one of my mom's long-term boyfriends for a few years, but I always kind of thought he was a weirdo and he never really understood me or my brother at all. He didn't even have a working relationship with HIS kids, how could he begin to kindle one with us? My uncle tried to be a supportive figure, but in our childhood he was in the military or out of state, so we rarely saw him. And barely a month ago, he really let me down and we no longer speak.

As for my grandfather, he's a sexist and racist pig and we don't really converse. It's better that way.

My boyfriend has a really spectacular father, I think. I'm not jealous or envious really, but it's certainly interesting to watch them interact. Maybe they take each other for granted a bit, but the boy still has a really supportive parental set and I really hope they do something nice for his dad tonight.

If you, dear reader, have a loving father please make sure he knows how much you appreciate him and not just one designated day out of the year. For those of us without fathers or on bad terms with ours, today is just another day and soon enough people will stop pestering you about it....

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