Tuesday, June 23, 2015

Bedroom Update!

Hey, everyone. Remember when my walls were this really cool purple color with black trim? Yeah...that's gone now.

I decided after I moved home from my uncle's place that I needed to revamp my bedroom somehow. The purple color had been hanging around for a long time and kind of reminded me of an era and version of myself I needed to move past, so naturally it was time for a new wall color. A week ago, I dug out a can of primer and set to covering up the purple. It was a tedious process and dark shades don't like to be covered easily.

My walls are now an antique white color. I know, I know...white? But! It's a neutral color scheme to work with now. I no longer feel confined to something that blends with purple. I can do anything I want with my bedroom's overall theme and style with white walls. Plus, all the more incentive to put up some cool wall decor!

I definitely have a few pieces I need to hang up yet and I will take more photos when that happens. I'm just really glad I finally got my walls sorted out.

Sunday, June 21, 2015

When your father has defected....

Those of us without fathers on this Father's Day occasion are often forced to reflect on the whereabouts of our absent parental figure - usually because a typical individual will assume that everyone has a loving and doting dad to celebrate, often when that is furthest from the case.

I don't have a dad.

I suppose I did once, there was certainly a male that contributed to my creation those 27 years ago, but I don't have a dad now. I grew up in a single parent household and looking back, I'm not sure I would have wanted it any other way. It was hard for Mom to make ends meet majority of the time, but she did the best she could for us to make sure we never went hungry and always knew that we were loved.

If, for some highly improbable reason, our dad had stuck around we would have been subjected to a substantial amount of his drinking, drugs, and overall absenteeism. I have never heard even one good story about him, from anyone really, so I truly believe I am better off not knowing him at all.

As for other father figures in my life - a few guys have tried but they all seemed to fail pretty spectacularly. We lived with one of my mom's long-term boyfriends for a few years, but I always kind of thought he was a weirdo and he never really understood me or my brother at all. He didn't even have a working relationship with HIS kids, how could he begin to kindle one with us? My uncle tried to be a supportive figure, but in our childhood he was in the military or out of state, so we rarely saw him. And barely a month ago, he really let me down and we no longer speak.

As for my grandfather, he's a sexist and racist pig and we don't really converse. It's better that way.

My boyfriend has a really spectacular father, I think. I'm not jealous or envious really, but it's certainly interesting to watch them interact. Maybe they take each other for granted a bit, but the boy still has a really supportive parental set and I really hope they do something nice for his dad tonight.

If you, dear reader, have a loving father please make sure he knows how much you appreciate him and not just one designated day out of the year. For those of us without fathers or on bad terms with ours, today is just another day and soon enough people will stop pestering you about it....

Thursday, June 18, 2015

According to the Code...

Walmart has changed its dress code quite a bit over the past few years, but one thing that I am glad about is the return of the vest. This allows you to wear a shirt or blouse of your own choosing and not a standard issue navy blue polo. I hate polo shirts with a passion...

You also have the option of black or tan pants/skirt (no jeans though) and as long as the shoes are closed-toe and not sandals anything really goes.

So after work today, I shucked my eyelet white blouse and tan linen pants for a quick trip to the thrift store. And here's how you add a bit of personal flair to an otherwise standard issue uniform:


Is it white (or navy blue?) Does it have sleeves and a collar? Good, it's Walmart approved! I wouldn't recommend swishy bell sleeves for stocking positions or working around food though...


I'm not going to wax poetic about the "urban" appeal of baggy khakis because a good pair of black slacks is obviously superior in a work setting. Avoid denim, anything with rips, tears, or crazy straps. But a cool pair of wide leg dress pants or a slim fitting pair embellished with zippers is perfectly acceptable.

As for skirts, length is probably the most important here. Wear something long enough to be considered work appropriate but not so long it's gonna get hung up on stuff or trip you. You don't want your work wardrobe to be a hazard to your safety.

I like the universal appeal of fit-n-flare skirts, but you can't go wrong with a nice pencil skirt either.


Here's where you can break out the more "colorful" aspects of your personality. As long as the shoe is closed toe and closed heel, doesn't resemble a pair of slippers or stripper heels, give it a go. A cute and colorful pair of flats is a nice way to set off an otherwise monotone look. I would advise you to avoid any boots with a significant heel as you might not find that comfortable to wander up and down aisles in, but a biker boot style with studs is perfectly kosher to me!

In Summary:

Follow the dress code to the best of your ability, but don't forget to let a little bit of you shine through it. Job or not, feeling like yourself will always help you perform to the best of your ability and feel confident being who you are.

all photos nabbed via Google Images. Credits go to respective sites and sources.

Sunday, June 14, 2015

Death By Capitalism

I start my new job tomorrow, a pitiful little stint in the Walmart bakery.

And I've been thinking about this for a while now and just sort of stewing in it because I don't quite know how to talk about it without sounding like a whiny bitch, so here it is:

I don't want to work.

I don't want to settle with some 8 hr job that pays minimum wage (or slightly above) for the rest of my life, dealing with people I don't like (and I hate most people...) and never having any free time or energy to enjoy myself.

I want to write. I want to wake up at any fucking hour I please, make a pot of coffee and sit in front on my Chromebook while clicking away at keys and adding pages upon pages to a new book or story. I don't want to talk to anyone, I don't want any interruptions, and I don't want to go outside. I literally want to hole up somewhere peaceful and do nothing by write.

Maybe when I get stuck, I'll venture out into the real world and observe people for a while. Get some fresh ideas for the book. Then go back to my little hermit world and dive back into writing.

Unfortunately, we live in a world where you have to sell your labor (for cheap!) to get by in life. You have to suck it up, being miserable for a majority of your day, then go home and interact with people when you just wanna be somewhere quiet and alone. Then you go to sleep and do it all over again the next day and for what?

For a paycheck? To buy a house or a car you can't even enjoy? To landscape the backyard you'll never really see or enjoy? To buy a cat or dog you don't have any time for? To pay off student loans for a degree being wasted?

It all feels so fucking pointless and that's putting aside my major anxiety/depression issues.

I wonder, if I checked myself into a mental institution and became a lifer...would they let me write?