Sunday, December 28, 2014

Implicit - Short Story Time

So after a couple of dreams involving a certain someone I might be seriously fancying, I decided to turn one of those dreams into a little short story. Yeah, girl in question is definitely me and my thought processes, be warned.


Tuesday, December 23, 2014

Dec. 23, 2014 - document that shit.




So I've always had this habit of "talking to myself" - just spewing my thoughts and ramblings out into the air at will. Sometimes I hold conversations between my story characters - acting it out so to speak.

According to my family, my crazy talk has become really negative lately. Belittling myself, hatred for the world at large, constant criticisms of people and ideas...

I think some of it is overflow from dealing with the ex - I don't feel the need to bottle some of it up anymore. The rest is that I am, in fact, a pretty angry person these days. I don't really have any friends or people I can talk to about this stuff. My therapist is an old-world bitch who refuses to see beyond gender roles, I'm pretty sure I can't talk to her anymore. A few of the guys I met on OKCupid...Jesus Christ, what a complete fucking waste of time...

My job sucks, physically I've been feeling less than stellar, and I'm still dealing with the fact that I've been single for over a month now and that's something that hasn't happened in a decade. I'm a little screwed up and some of it just needs to come...out.

And then it comes out and people are "concerned" or uncomfortable. Okay then, cork that bitch up. I just won't say anything anymore. If I have to duct tape my mouth shut during the day, then so be it.

My brother is also subtly getting on me for my drinking. Guess I better stop doing that too or else I'll be facing accusations of being a dead-beat alcoholic. Which really isn't that far off, to be honest. It costs money on them for me to be living and eating here too. I know they don't say it, but it puts a strain on them financially.

So I need to be silent and non-consuming. Cost-effective. Out of sight, out of mind.

Gone.

Sunday, December 21, 2014

Holiday Edition Makeup


For images captured with my webcam, I didn't do too badly. ^_^ This is my Christmas Eve look for this year. I figured I would plan it all out in advance since I have to work for most of the 24th, so now when I get home I can slip into my lovely green dress and slap some face paint on. Voila~


Yes, my hair IS currently a bright red color. It's from that totally shit brand called Splat! and I'm super surprised that it's lasted as long as it has. Normally, Manic Panic's vampire red would have faded out by now. We're like a full week in with numerous washing.


The makeup itself is a silver shimmery eye-shadow with a thin liquid eyeliner and copious amounts of mascara. A bit of rosy blush high in my cheeks and a plum lipstick. Totally cute and it doesn't clash with the hair, which I'm happy about.

What about the lot of you? Anyone dressing up for the holidays? I'm excited to see everyone's fabulous style!

Saturday, December 20, 2014

Poetry Slam: A V O X

A V O X

I'm screaming. Can you hear me?
I pry open my dry and cracked lips
Exhale. Inhale. Try again.
I'm screaming. Can you hear me?

I can't make a sound.




Tuesday, December 16, 2014

All I Want for Xmas is my Sanity Intact!

So I'm gonna be frank and say, I don't like the holiday season. I used to, like, a million years ago before it was complicated by unnecessary family drama, money woes, and work stress. I used to like it before I had to spend it with two different S.O.'s and their own bizarre families. And of course, before I fully understood the evils of consumerism.

But alas....this year I find myself with an unprecedented dilemma.

And it's called a boy.

You guys recall the panic from my last "actual text" post, yeah? All about this fellow. And here's the deal - I was pretty convinced these crazy feelings were entirely one-sided. But now I'm getting slammed by messages from him indicating a pretty intense desire to meet in person and see where things go.

Which has certainly piqued my interest....BUT!

The timing's horrible. Holidays have to be survived first. Mom's having knee replacement surgery after the first of the year. I'm still in recovery from two back-to-back abusive relationships - I'm in no condition to go rushing headfirst into something else, regardless of how fun and harmless it seems right now. So you see? Horrible timing.

And I'm not in any rush. Really, I can admit that. I'm totally cool with just hanging out with people and taking things SUPER SLOW. What happens, happens. Right?

My concern is that this will not be enough for the other parties involved.

So, on one hand things could end up escalating too quickly for me to stop or control, and on the other things could move so slowly that they stagnate and eventually fizzle out. I really don't want either to happen - so how does one find a happy medium?

So, to hell with my two front teeth (familiar with that tune?) what I really want for Christmas is my sanity.




More .gifs








Sunday, December 14, 2014

.gif Dump!

So I was digging around on my external hard drive and found all these .gif files from like a million years ago. So I can see them animated and share them with the rest of you, I'm dumping them here. Please enjoy!























Saturday, December 13, 2014

That Little Bitch Shot Me!!

And by little bitch, I of course mean Cupid. Or Eros. Whichever you prefer. The name Cupid sort of reduces him to something not meant to be taken seriously - and that's really where I'd like to be standing right now.

Because Eros scares the crap out of me and if I'm really in his sights, I'm done for. WHY am I bitching and moaning about the little shithead deity of love? Well, mostly because of the OKCupid shit. And mostly because I, sort of, maybe, met someone I like. Quite a bit...?

Oh gods, I'm doomed! I had all these lofty goals of being single and fabulous for the rest of my life and now there's this....PERSON!...and I just can't. I dunno!

Okay. *takes a deep breath* I'm calm. Totally calm. Cool as a cucumber.

Normally, this wouldn't be a huge deal. I fall in and out of crushes with people all the time. They can last anywhere from a week to just a couple days. Then they pass and it's on to the next lovely human being.

But this one.

Gods, I've already said too much. I mean, we have some pretty intense conversations. And then you get some booze involved and you are vehemently typing your life story out. Like a moron.

What have I done? I'm doomed. Doomed, I tell you. 


Sunday, December 7, 2014

Buy my Book for the Holidays!!~

Anything But Monochrome, my kindle book for young adult readers, is only 99 cents and the perfect holiday gift for a spooky teen or preteen. Buy it at the link here:

Click Me Please!


"Anna Capelle doesn't look like your ordinary teenage girl. In fact, she isn't really an ordinary teenage girl at all. But when Anna is uprooted from her comfortable home in New York City, she must learn to adjust to all things ordinary in the small community town of New Hope. 


Come along with this loveable little Goth girl as she navigates the murky waters of dealing with a new school, trying to make friends, and surviving a rather tense home life. The longer she stays in New Hope, though, the more she realizes that nothing is truly ordinary. 


-A unique coming of age story for those who truly don't feel they fit in."




☃ Happy Winter Holidays, everyone! 

Saturday, December 6, 2014

OkCupid....now what?



After I broke up with Chris, I made an OKCupid profile. Probably a dumb idea considering I had taken a vow to remain single for(ever) a while. And I'm still upholding that...I've just met some people who are kind of fun.

http://www.okcupid.com/profile/michaela_thecat

I genuinely thought I was gonna attract a plethora of creepers. I didn't.

Instead I met two nice guys who actually live in my hometown. I don't think I ever met any of them in person back during high school though, even though I graduated with one of them.

His name is Marcus and he's a fan of SciFi and Steampunk.

The other guy is actually my younger brother's age and is into anime, computers, and cats. Major nod to the "cats" part. But he's nice. And funny.

And there's this fellow from a distance away and he approached with the intent of "text wall racquet ball" - I gave him huge props for verbal creativity there. And so far we've had some pretty interesting discussions.

So here's my dilemma. I like all of these guys, pretty much equally. I'm not interested in dating at the moment and I will probably never be completely monogamous again - that just didn't work for me. But suppose I do want a little something "else" with one or all of them. Do I have to choose?

For those of you who have ventured into the frightening yet exciting realm of online dating, what have your experiences been?