So I'm gonna be frank and say, I don't like the holiday season. I used to, like, a million years ago before it was complicated by unnecessary family drama, money woes, and work stress. I used to like it before I had to spend it with two different S.O.'s and their own bizarre families. And of course, before I fully understood the evils of consumerism.
But alas....this year I find myself with an unprecedented dilemma.
And it's called a boy.
You guys recall the panic from my last "actual text" post, yeah? All about this fellow. And here's the deal - I was pretty convinced these crazy feelings were entirely one-sided. But now I'm getting slammed by messages from him indicating a pretty intense desire to meet in person and see where things go.
Which has certainly piqued my interest....BUT!
The timing's horrible. Holidays have to be survived first. Mom's having knee replacement surgery after the first of the year. I'm still in recovery from two back-to-back abusive relationships - I'm in no condition to go rushing headfirst into something else, regardless of how fun and harmless it seems right now. So you see? Horrible timing.
And I'm not in any rush. Really, I can admit that. I'm totally cool with just hanging out with people and taking things SUPER SLOW. What happens, happens. Right?
My concern is that this will not be enough for the other parties involved.
So, on one hand things could end up escalating too quickly for me to stop or control, and on the other things could move so slowly that they stagnate and eventually fizzle out. I really don't want either to happen - so how does one find a happy medium?
So, to hell with my two front teeth (familiar with that tune?) what I really want for Christmas is my sanity.