Thursday, October 18, 2012

Darkest Before The Dawn

I slept for two hours and 30 minutes last night. Which suited me just fine. I was coming back around when my alarm went off at 7:45 am. I was SOOOO tempted to just throw the phone across the room and say "fuck life, I'm goin' back to bed!" but then I remembered the little pep talk my boy gave me last night and forced myself in to the bathroom. The morning ritual commenced and after a small breakfast (with orange juice!) I headed for class.

I got there pretty early and nearly fell asleep in the hallway waiting for the professor to come and open up the room. Once in there, the girl that usually sits next to me read me my horoscope on her phone. She does this every now and then and we're always amazed at how uncannily true their predictions are.

I don't really believe in horoscopes. Yeah, there may be some truth to our destinies lying somewhere out in the stars, but for the most part, horoscopes are a crock. And I'm okay with this.

The last one she read off for me about a week ago involved changes coming and coming up fast. That in the end they would have a positive result, even if I didn't see it. Well yeah, that was the end of midterms and the moment I decided that I needed to get my shit in gear.

Today's was.....scary in it's accuracy. Like....spooky enough to give me shivers and I don't normally react to things like that. But at the same time, it also gave me hope.

It basically summarized all the troubles I've been going through and outlining my hopelessness of the past few weeks and then going on to say that it's always darkest just before the sun comes up and even if it seems like it could get no darker now, that means the sun is just beyond the horizon and to hang in there.

It was Made me feel hopeful, I guess. Even though I don't put stock into things like that, really. But maybe there's something or someone out there trying to give me a sign, since I've been praying for help the last few days. I guess something heard me and I'm eternally grateful if they sent me that message.

Moving on to the cheery stuff:

I've started printing out inspiring and up-lifiting quotes with lovely photos to tape on my walls. I've got three up already and they make me smile when I read them. One of them is even a quote from Lord Byron. Hellz yeah!

I've been exercising a bit lately too and my torso is SO SORE from the recent ab workouts I've been doing. But it's a good kind of sore and it makes me feel productive. I've been snacking on carrots and baby spinach too and with any luck I can have the boy drag me to the grocery store tomorrow to pick up more healthy goodies. ^_^

Also....I'm totally committed to this "get fit" thing - I ordered some athletic shoes off Payless. They're a simple black athletic sneaker and they were on sale. My size was still in stock and it looks as though I could easily swap out the boring black laces for something cool like Halloween ones.

I want to start running again. I used to really enjoy the burn in my legs and belly from pushing my endurance. The racing heart, the sweat beading off my neck, the warm flush on my face. I actually used to enjoy that, because I felt like I did something good for my body.

I'm sure my endurance is absolute garbage now, so I'll have to take it slow. Now I just need a running buddy. I'm sure Steph would be up for it though.

So with good eating and good moving out of the way, I need to tackle good sleeping. I should probably invest in a non-addictive sleep aid and let all the kinks work themselves out. That seems like a good start for now.

So what do you all recommend for ooky-spooky workout clothing? Give me your tips and ideas below!


  1. For my own exercise (rather than going to specific sports) I just get regular work-out clothing in black, and a loose-fitting goth-y t-shirt. Putting spooky laces in those trainers sounds like a good plan.