Monday, January 23, 2012

When it all comes toppling down...

It's a sad, sad thing when just sitting down to work on writing a blog entry makes you feel completely drained and dead. I remember the days when I was incredibly excited about getting this thing up and running. I wanted to post a TON of stuff, personal and otherwise. And I did quite a bit of both in the beginning.

Nowadays though, I can barely bring myself to whip up a quick "I'm still alive, will write more later" update. Even as I sit here, I'm trying to think of what to add in here to wrap this up so I can go curl up in bed with a cup of tea and stare out the window.

(brief intermission where I did actually make myself some tea)

I haven't been dressing up much lately, so I don't have any outfit snaps for you. I haven't been doing anything crafty or artsy, since I've been way too busy with school during the week and then sleeping on the weekends. I don't even really listen to music anymore, otherwise I might do some music spotlights or something.

Come to think of it, I don't do much of anything these days. School is stressful and hard for me to deal with, the new-found snowy landscape is having a dismal effect on my body, and I keep running from the notion that I might truly be depressed. All in all, the only thing I really want to do these days is sleep and I can't even do that since I'm suffering from some pretty extreme insomnia.

Isn't life grand?

I'm going to take some pro-active measures against all this though. My dorm hall holds group sessions in the basement every Tuesday evening to help people who might be depressed cope or find help. I think tomorrow night I might pop down there and see what they can do for me. Even if I can find some like-minded individuals who are also a bit lonely on campus, that's a good start. I need friends, I'm starting to realize. And not just the occasionally there when you need them online friends, but real ones.

If that doesn't work, I'm gonna swallow my pride and actually go to visit the psych center here on campus.  Wish me luck.

1 comment:

  1. *hugs* IRL friends are important, I wish you the best of luck fighting your depression and meeting other people. I´ve been through both depression and friendlessness, and it´s hard, but there is a light at the end of the tunnel (even if you can´t see it or imagine it right now). *extra hug*