Wednesday, January 25, 2012
I took action...
Last night I mustered up all the strength and courage that I had and took the elevator down to Sherburne's creepy and ominous basement. There was study room 6, a room designated for the depression support group every Tuesday at 6 pm. There's even a sign.
No one was there, so I sat in one of the less-than-comfortable chairs and waited. I didn't have to wait long, soon two girls came into the room. They introduced themselves, though for the life of me I can't remember their names. Anyways...one of them was the facilitator of the group and she welcomed me in. Soon more people showed up, a CA in a different building, one of my male classmates from English, an ethnic girl named Asha, and a very shy young man who's name I didn't catch - apparently he also suffers from social anxiety. In total there were maybe 7 or 8 of us. Not a terribly large group, but still enough to feel a bit self-conscious and anxious.
Brief introductions were made and we talked shortly about why we were depressed, coping methods, what we think we need in our lives and then the conversations derailed quite quickly into lots of other things, including video games, literature, tea parties, and much more. We're all very different, clearly, but we are bonded by the fact that we suffer in ways most people can't understand. It was crazy to hear Liz talk about days when she just doesn't feel like eating, getting out of bed, or facing people. I was astonished to hear talk about wanting attention from people and then also wanting to push them away and be alone. How condescending it is to hear people ask you "How are you?" every time they see you. Or the well-meaning "Cheer up" or "Be more positive" comments that don't help.
I didn't say much while I was there, but that's not surprising. It usually takes me a while to open up with a new group and even though I felt fairly comfortable with this lot, there was so much witty banter flying about that it was hard to get a word in edgewise.
All in all though, I think I'm looking forward to next Tuesday's session.