Tuesday, December 27, 2011

Holiday Blues

I think I'm beginning to truly despise the holiday season. If I didn't know any better, I'd say I was Mr. Scrooge's great great great granddaughter or something.

For the solstice, I did nothing to celebrate. But that's not terribly surprising...I've been falling off the pagan bandwagon for a while now. Christmas Eve was a literal nightmare for me. I was fine until people started arriving and then an anxiety attack set in and pretty much ruined the whole night for me. Not to mention my uncle harangued me for having a few glasses of wine. I'm 24, mind you.

Christmas Day was alright. I had dinner with my boyfriend's family and I was a bit intrigued at the amount of gifts I received. I had honestly expected next to nothing, since my family doesn't really do the gift thing anymore. My immediate sector is poor and the rest of them are stingy goats. So...yeah.

Honestly though, I'm just glad the holidays are over. I never before really understood why the holidays could be stressful. But when you hate your family, times are tough, and you're stressed out - well, I get it now.  I'm almost looking forward to the day when I move to Japan and can hang up all these silly "American" traditions and customs. They've been getting me down lately.

And now that Christmas is over, I'm going to dye my hair back to a normal shade and become invisible again for a while. It's my method of recuperating I guess. I'm not going back to red just yet, and since I've already been a blonde (for a short while) I figure I would try being a brunette for some time. I did black once and that looked horrible on me, so we'll settle for a nice deep shade of chestnut.

Does anyone else suffer from depression or anxiety during the holidays?

(p.s. I'll do a holiday haul once I get all my new crap over to my place.)


  1. Nowadays christmas is a lazy holiday, with free time, a very needed little vacation. Not much presents only for the children. I need it to relax and calm down, having a week off from work.

  2. I'm sorry your holidays were so stressful. For me I'm lucky I get along with my family well and they help relieve me from the stress I get from work (I work retail so this is the most stressful time of year). I wish that you had a place you could go to that just made you feel supported and loved. I'll be honest though this holiday was hard for me, with my boyfriend leaving me this year it's hard to find any enjoyment in most things. Good luck with everything